The beginning always feels Icky…

Written By Daisy Howell

March 1st 2025 - 5 Minute Read

Starting this research was icky. It felt massive—too important, too complex, too loud. So, naturally, I procrastinated. Not out of laziness, but because I had no clue where or how to begin in what I felt was a valid or constructive way. And that feels relevant to mention because, honestly, this is the exact struggle I have with leadership.

I second-guess. I hesitate. I wonder if I’m "valid enough" to state my vision or take charge. It’s getting better—trial by fire in new roles and environments has helped—but this research felt different. More personal. More self-indulgent. If I’m working for clients, organisations, or structured initiatives, I can hit the ground running. No hesitation. But research that directly evolves my practice? That might lead to change from an inner, self-driven process? That felt... icky. Almost unreasonable.

Which is why I started there—questioning why it felt that way. Because imposter syndrome isn’t just a personal hurdle; it’s a systemic one. It’s the quiet force that holds countless artists back. And historically, it has weighed even heavier on women in leadership. Society hasn’t exactly rolled out the red carpet for women to take up space in positions of power. Whether it’s blatant exclusion or the slow drip of microaggressions we endure from school to the workplace, the message lingers: leadership isn’t ours to claim.

So, I started where I always should—with knowledge. Mentorship. Research. Cold, hard facts. Because the only way to get over the hill and start the hike.


Useful Resources Acquired to start the journey…

Genuine Reflections

1. Leadership in the arts is complex. It’s a constant negotiation between emotion, artistry, community, and audience—because at its core, it’s deeply human. Sure, financial security, business savvy, and profitability are essential for making an impact and getting things done. But leadership in the cultural sector carries an added weight: passion, talent, identity, voice, physical practice, and a sense of belonging through art. It’s massive. But that’s also what makes it exciting. It opens up a world of creative possibilities—opportunities to reshape, challenge, and drive real cultural change. After diving into these readings, I’ve come away with a huge sense of gratitude for working in this space, not the doom and gloom that social media might have you believe.

2. People want to talk about governance and leadership. I’ve yet to have an interviewee turn down the conversation. In fact, the most common response is: I’ve been thinking about this for a while and have some ideas. Across different backgrounds and experiences, people are eager to share their insights and explore new ways forward.

3. The term governance itself is fluid—it means different things depending on your career path. For some, it’s shaped by relationships with a Director, Artistic Director, Project Lead, Choreographer, or Lecturer. For others, it sits at a higher level—with CEOs, Managers, and Executive Directors. And then there are those who see governance as something broader—less defined, part of a larger system.

4. Interestingly, some people don’t even see themselves as part of an artistic governance structure. They see themselves as contributors to a project rather than active participants in shaping it. But in deeper conversations, the reality of their role in decision-making and structure becomes glaringly clear. So, is there a gap in how we talk about governance in the arts? Are we overlooking the roles we all play in ensuring good governance? And is there better language we can use to make these responsibilities clearer?

Final Thoughts

- What is good governance in the cultural sector, really? It’s vague, slippery, and open to interpretation—which is exactly why I’m excited to dig into it. I want to hear firsthand what people recognise as good governance, what they wish they saw more of, and how these perspectives shift with age, location, genre, and role. Do those factors really shape governance that much?

- As a Director, I also have to ask: how do I make sure the people involved in my projects feel connected to the governance structure? Should they? Does it matter? And if it does, when and where in a project is it actually productive to bring that awareness into play?

- Then there’s the question of women in leadership. It looks different—and that’s a good thing. Even if it’s underrepresented, underresearched, or just plain underestimated. The current political climate has only made it clearer: we need female perspectives, voices, and experiences to drive meaningful, dynamic change. The female leaders I’ve spoken with in the cultural sector tend to lead with democratic, empathetic, and proactive approaches—active listeners who do, rather than dictate. But they also face unique challenges: outdated work/life structures, imposter syndrome, lack of representation, and perhaps most strikingly, a lack of conversation connecting their skills to leadership positions. Why aren’t we talking about this more?

Next Steps

  • A large-scale interview series—hosted both online and in person

  • Continued business and personal coaching, turning insights into actionable strategies

  • Diving into my next reads: The Magic by Rhonda Byrne & Get Rich, Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas

Daisy Howell
Next

Ownership: Who’s Really in Charge?